That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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