Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
