With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
