You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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