I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
