great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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