not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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