your parents love me but you hate me
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
