Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Randomize
