guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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