Well douche your snatch and let's go!
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
