i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
