So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Randomize
