Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
They have beer where we have blood.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
