there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I party with great urgency now.
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