at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize