I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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