Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
