Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
