i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
