scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
