Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
