i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
