I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
