Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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