It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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