well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
