OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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