I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
