He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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