i need an iv and a liver transplant
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
