I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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