I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Randomize
