I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
her vagine was all disorganized.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Randomize
