I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
