Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
