Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
