me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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