So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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