you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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