I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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