I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
