I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
