i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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