I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
