Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
