I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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