No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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