doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
