I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
not ubering you a puppy
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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