youre lurking in front of me
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?