I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...