i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
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She told me I should be a condom model.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
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Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.