just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize