I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.