I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
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facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
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I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.