Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
