let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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