It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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