I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
