I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
