nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
