Nicole vs. Life
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
