party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize