is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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