I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
