Dual....:-)
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
