ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
